I want to apologize for being so inactive on this blog recently. I'm not going to lie to you and say that I've been too busy, because I haven't. That's actually the problem. I have been in California now for over three months and it still doesn't feel like I live here. I sleep here, I eat here, I work here, but I don't LIVE here. Probably because I am not really living.
I knew moving to a new place and not knowing a soul would be difficult. I don't think I was prepared for just how difficult it has been. It's a lot different when you move away for school. In that case you are forced into a social environment which makes it easier to make friends. It becomes much more difficult when the only place you interact with people is at your job.
I have been trying to create a life here in California. I have gone church shopping. I have joined Meetup groups. I have done what I can. Somehow it's not enough. I love going to work because it means I'm not stuck in my bedroom watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer or goofing around on the internet. The only time I get out of the house is when my room becomes so unbearable, I decide to see a movie by myself. And I think one of the most depressing sentences has to be "party of one" when going out to dinner.
I am dying to get out of my house and explore California, but I don't want to do it by myself. I am out of ideas on how to meet people and make friends. I keep praying that God will help me make a life here, but as each day passes my hope grows dimmer and dimmer.
It's even difficult for me to do things I love, like reading and art. It's like I literally don't have enough energy in me to do more than stare at a computer screen all day. Wow. Maybe I should be on medication.
I am a social being with social needs and I could use any suggestions you have to give me. I know in my heart that things will get better, I just wish they would get better sooner, rather than later. I have good days, and I have bad days. I guess today is a bad day and I just want to say that the blogging is probably going to be sparse until I can turn things around and get my spirits up.
Suggestions, advice, prayers, and good vibes are all welcome. Thanks for listening.