A Love Story

Most of you know that I am very romantically inexperienced. And by inexperienced, I mean seriously naive. I've made mention of this in a previous post and if you've seen the movie Never Been Kissed with Drew Barrymore then you have a bit of an idea about my romantic experience. To sum it up: I'm 26 years old. I've never been on a date, never had a boyfriend, and never been kissed. For a long time that was really hard for me to deal with. I didn't understand why I was so unlovable. With time, I cared less and less. I didn't need a man to prove I had worth. Let's be real. I'm pretty freaking awesome. I know this and that's really all that matters. I'm a very happy person and I love myself regardless of what anyone else thinks. I've got flaws. Lots of them. But I love myself anyway. I know my good traits far outweigh my bad traits. So yeah, I don't need a man to know I have worth, but it's never stopped me from wanting to find a special guy to recognize that worth as well.

I started trying out dating sites a few years ago, and was kind of embarrassed about it, but at the same time, I felt like I'd run out of options. Clearly conventional means weren't working for me. I did Match.com and OkCupid for a while and nothing came of it. Around October last year I joined eHarmony after hearing a success story from a couple of my really good friends. I had pretty much the same luck as I did with every other dating site but on an even grander scale. eHarmony would send me new matches every day and if I didn't get to looking at them for a while they all piled up. At one point I reached over 800 matches and I had to turn off getting new ones. It's really overwhelming sitting there and going through hundreds of profiles, let me tell you.

Back in May a couple of my friends and I used the huge amount of downtime we had during a shift at work to sort through some of my eHarmony matches. In two days we had sent off 70 messages and deleted about 300 profiles. Sorting through it with my friends made the process more fun and we were able to get rid of a huge chunk of my extensive match-pool. Of those 70 messages we sent out, I got one reply. It was from a guy named Fletcher.

We went through eHarmony's steps of "guided communication" before we started having regular conversations. He told me that we started communicating at a really unfortunate time because he was heading out of town for the summer and wouldn't be back until early September. I was bummed, but we kept chatting anyway. For about a month we emailed back and forth probably once a day or every other. The more we talked the more we discovered how much we have in common and the more I liked him. He's incredibly smart, funny, charming, witty, and the sweetest guy I've (n)ever met. After a month went by we started emailing more frequently, multiple times a day, and I could tell he was falling for me too.

A couple weeks ago we decided to move to some form of instant communication and we started talking on Google chat. We basically haven't stopped talking since then. The entire time we've been communicating our conversations have been completely open and honest with each other, even when we have a difficult topic we need to discuss. About a week ago after working through one of those difficult conversations we did the unthinkable. We said "I love you," on Google chat, and with never having met or (at that point) spoken to each other.

I know what you're thinking. That's insane! You can't fall in love with a stranger on the internet! Believe me, I didn't think it was possible either. For a while I was thinking I was crazy for moving so fast. Part of me still thinks it is a little crazy, but the more I talked to my friends about it, the less crazy it seemed. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that love is like sugar cookies. Stay with me for a minute...

When you make sugar cookies you can change up the ingredients you use a bit. You can make them gluten free, you can make them without eggs, you can make them with vanilla extract or almond extract, you can even make sugar cookies with no sugar. There are tons of different options and combinations for you to choose from. Once you have your dough rolled out you can make a million different shapes from the classic round cookie to holiday shapes to animals to hearts and so much more. You can do whatever you want. Once you've baked your assortment of cookie shapes you can top them with sugar dust or frosting or sprinkles or candies. There are billions of combinations you can make when it comes to making a sugar cookie, but you know what? In the end, regardless of how you made it, it's still a sugar cookie.

That's how I feel about love. There is no instruction manual for falling in love. It doesn't always happen as boy meets girl, boy asks girl out, they kiss, fall in love, get married, and have babies. Yeah, that's one way it happens, but it sure as hell isn't the only way. For one thing, sometimes boys like boys and girls like girls. That's love. Sometimes two people are friends for years and years and they never thought about each other romantically, but then one day that all changes. That's love. Sometimes they know after one date. That's love. Sometimes people fall in love with someone 10 years older than them, or 15 or 20. That's love. Sometimes people fall in love and don't want to get married and have babies. That's love too! Marriage and babies aren't a requirement for love! There is no one size fits all recipe for love! As Lin Manuel Miranda put so eloquently in his acceptance speech "Love is love is love is love is love is love is love."

So here's the truth. I'm in love with a guy who is 9 years older than me, who I've never met in person, and who I've only been talking to for 2 months. My love story is not any less significant than any other person's love story. It's different, but it's still real, and it's mine. I shouldn't have to hide my love story for fear of people's judgments. So tonight, on our two-month anniversary, we are announcing our love to the world, knowing full well how crazy it may seem. We don't care. We're happy, we're in love, and we're excited to see where this relationship goes. We both know it may not end the way we want it to, but we're just happy to enjoy what we've got right here, right now.

Being in love is an amazing feeling, and no one should feel like they have to hide it. I don't know if you've noticed, but this world could use a lot more love in it. Now, it has ours.

Let There Be Peace on Earth

I was supposed to get this up yesterday, but I failed. Guess I'm a day late and a dollar short. Oh well.

Sunday at church we had a beautiful service to celebrate our nation's independence. It was full of wonderful music that really made me feel a love for my country that I haven't felt in a while. Our country is struggling right now. I kind of feel like a parent watching my rebellious teenager acting out and not being able to do anything about it and wondering when they are going to grow out of this phase. It makes sense because America really is a teenager in comparison to other countries. We are still really young and we're still trying to figure out how to become the best country we can be. I hope we'll get there one day, but I know it's not going to be soon.

There is so much negativity in our country, in our world. It hurts every time I see another shooting, another rape, another senseless murder. It weighs very heavily on me at times and I'm sure a lot of my recent Facebook posts reflect that. This election cycle in particular is really bringing out the worst in everyone, including me. But on Sunday while I was sitting in that pew I realized, for every bad person I hear about in the news, there are five good ones in the shadows who I've never heard of. Most of the people in this world go about their lives adding positivity and happiness to the people around them without a big fanfare. There are some genuinely good people in this world, and sometimes I need to remind myself of that.

The last song we sang in that service was "Let There Be Peace on Earth." If you haven't heard it, I've attached a link at the bottom of this post. This is a beautiful song and it was just the reminder I needed. A world in turmoil is going to stay that way unless every individual does their best to change it. I really do want there to be peace on Earth one day, and I'm going to do my own small part to do what I can. I want to be the person who radiates positivity wherever I go. I want to change people's lives simply by being kind, caring, and understanding. I want to accept every person for who they are regardless of their race, sexual orientation, religion, gender, or age. I may not always succeed, but that's not going to stop me from trying. Regardless of your spiritual preferences or non-preferences I think that's something we can all agree on. Happy Independence Day.

Let peace begin with me

Let this be the moment now.

With every step i take

Let this be my solemn vow.

To take each moment

And live each moment

With peace eternally.

Let there be peace on earth,

And let it begin with me.

Pray for Paris

I'm a Facebook junkie. I'll freely admit it. And if you are anything like me, you'll often come across something on your newsfeed that you disagree with. Facebook and all social media platforms are full of controversy. They thrive on it. It's how they survive. I have perfected the art of ignoring and scrolling down whenever I see something that contradicts my own beliefs. I try not to get involved in comment wars over differences in opinion. We're all human. We're all allowed to have different opinions, and we're all allowed to share those opinions on whatever platform we choose. Today is different. This morning I saw something that made me stop short. On this, I cannot remain silent.

We are all mourning for the lives lost in the attacks throughout Paris. I know because my Facebook has exploded with pictures and posts and hashtags of support for our allies. Every person has their own way of expressing their love to Paris. I was feeling nothing but love and unity and support while I was scrolling, until I ran across this picture.

I'm not offended easily. I always try to take a step back and think about where a person is coming from. I don't always succeed at being open-minded, but I try. This is easily the most offensive thing I have ever seen on Facebook. Regardless of how you feel about prayer or religion or God, you should not tell other people how to deal with this tragedy. Especially not one day after the events. That is not tactful. That is not compassionate. And if I'm being honest, that is not ok.

For who knows what reason, I decided to look at the comments on this picture. I suppose I was looking for someone to say what I was feeling so I could like it, and move on. No one did. In fact, because the picture wasn't bad enough, I found this:

I pulled this from the Eagles of Death Metal FB page under the comments section stating the band and crew were safe, couldn't agree more:

"Until we eradicate ALL religion from our lives, our species will NEVER be truly free, and we will continue to enjoy human beings slaughtering their fellow human beings over nothing more than whose intellectually and morally offensive, primitive, fear-based fairy tales are the only "true" fairy tales (and which therefore allegedly justify such subhuman behavior). Condolences to all involved; hopefully our species will soon realize that here in the 21st Century, we no longer need religion -- and the type of knuckle-dragging bigotry and barbarism it promotes and justifies -- any more. "

Guys. I have nothing against atheists. I have many atheist friends including some of the people I love the most in this world. We respect each others beliefs and opinions and we discuss them openly. So, please correct me if I am wrong here. I get why many atheists hate religion. There is a lot of hypocrisy, bigotry, and violence in the name of God(s). From what I understand many atheists have problems with religion because of their intolerance on a myriad of issues. 

To me, that comment is intolerant of those of us who are religious. Religious people do not hold a monopoly on hypocrisy, bigotry, violence, or intolerance. In my opinion whoever wrote that comment is not being very open-minded. They may not need religion, but that doesn't mean that no one does. Every person on this planet is an individual and it is their right to decide how to live their life. We need to stop generalizing and grouping people together based on one category of their lives. We are all guilty of it, including me, and it needs to stop. 

What I am coming to understand is that just like there are religious extremists who give all religions a bad name, there are atheistic extremists who give atheism a bad name. I would never tell one of my non-religious friends exactly how to deal (or not deal) with this tragedy. They are allowed to grieve in their own way. Please allow me to grieve in mine. So regardless of how anyone else feels about it, I will pray that the violence and intolerance of this world will one day come to an end. I will pray that one day we will all be able to live together in harmony. I will pray for Paris.

I apologize if this post offends anyone. I tried to keep it as open-minded and non-biased as I could. If you want to discuss it with me, I am happy to have a conversation with you about it. I do ask that we try to avoid negativity and talk about things rationally and respectfully. Thanks for reading.

Epiphany

I went to work the other day and two of my friends were talking about their upcoming backpacking trip in Zion National Park. One friend invited me to come along a while back but I declined because I knew I was visiting my friend Laney in Vegas already this month and couldn't afford to lose more work. He offered again and I said I couldn't because I have work. He jokingly told me to call out.

Instantly my mind started listing all the reasons I shouldn't do it. I need the money. I don't want more points for calling out. I don't have half the camping gear I need. I'm in bad shape and won't be able to keep up. I can't leave my cat again. It's a long drive and gas prices are ridiculous. While all these thoughts were rolling around in my brain, my heart was quietly whispering, "...but...I want to go..."

I started to shift my thinking into figuring out if I could actually make this work. Here's what I realized: I don't want to be one of those people who won't do things because they need to save their money. I realized that my life will be a much happier one if it is full of rich experiences instead of having a full savings account. Yes there are legitimate reasons I shouldn't go on the trip, but one reasons trumps all those. It will make me happy.

My happiness is the most I could ask for in this life I am living. While I believe in an afterlife, I want to live my life here on Earth to the fullest. I want to go on spontaneous trips with my friends. I want to buy and read a lot of books. I want to binge watch a TV show for a week straight. I want to eat ice cream every day. I want to do what makes me happy and I want to do it without feeling regret or shame.

It's silly, but even by setting goals for the things that make me happy, end up destroying my happiness...For example I always set a reading goal every year and when I get behind I get discouraged. Why should I be discouraged!? If I feel like picking up a book and reading, then that's awesome! If I'd rather watch TV or play a video game instead, that's cool too.

And I don't know if you know this, but I LOVE ice cream. Like seriously...if ice cream were a man then I would marry him and have little ice cream babies of delicious creamy goodness. Wait...where was I? Oh yeah. So I love ice cream and I probably have some form or other of frozen dairy treat every day. And every time I do, I feel ashamed because I know it's not good for me. WHO CARES!? Ice cream is freaking delicious and I just want to enjoy it and not hate myself afterward.

Life's too short for regret and shame. I plan on moving forward and pursuing my happiness. Obviously I need to be financially aware and responsible, but that doesn't mean I can't dip into the savings account every once in a while. I have a really amazing life and I'm young and have all kinds of adventures ahead of me. I can't wait to see what happens in my future.

Do what makes you happy and do what you can to make others happy. And that's my new philosophy!

*bonus points if you knew the musical right away

I Must Be Crazy

Guys. I love lists. They are like my favorite thing. I love planning and organizing and making sure everything is perfect. I have been planning a backpacking trip to Europe in 2020 for like two years. It started out as a three month trip, and now it's up to five months - and I'm not even done planning yet! But I must be crazy because logical, organized, and list-loving me, is considering throwing all those plans out the window, grabbing my backpack, and heading to Europe for a year with no plans but to have the adventure of a lifetime.

The thought is equally exhilarating and terrifying. But why not!? People do that sort of thing all the time! Why can't I!? There is plenty of information out there on how much it costs to travel through Europe. If I budget high, I see no reason I couldn't do it. And hey if I run out of money before the year is up, I'll just go home.

I really want to talk myself into doing this. The reason I wanted to travel through Europe without a travel group was because I didn't want anyone telling me where to go or how long to stay. I wanted to make my own itinerary and have some wiggle room for spontaneity. By making my own itinerary and planning things down to the hour, I am doing to myself what the travel group would have done anyway!

What would happen if I just showed up and had no plans? It might be stupid. It might be the most amazing experience in my life. In fact I think it would. I'm probably crazy, but I'm so excited by the idea, I don't even care. Only five more years Europe. See you soon!

She's Baaaaaaack!

Wow. Finally had a spare moment today to pop on over here and see that my last post was over 6 months ago. I couldn't believe it! Well, actually I could because my life got totally crazy. As you may recall from a previous post, I was suffering from a bout of depression after my move to California, but since then, I am happy to report, things have improved dramatically. I'll try and catch you up on all the craziness you've missed the last 6 months. Here's a visual interpretation:

1. Jenna came to visit me in August. We ate cronuts, went to Six Flags, and chilled on the beach.
2. Went to an Angels game with co-workers.
3. Had drinks after the game. Including Irish Car Bombs:
4. Which were disgusting.
5. Went to Disneyland with my family.
6. Went whale watching with Randy and Anthony in Dana Point.
7. Hung out at the beach with friends.
8. Went home for a visit in September and saw these lovely ladies.
9. Went to a book signing in Oceanside. Saw Stephanie Perkins, Kiersten White, & Natalie Whipple.
10. Went ice skating with D-Wade.
11. Went to Mad T Party and saw the Halloween fireworks with Sheila.
12. Got dressed up for a Halloween Time Travel Party. I was sexy Hermione with a time turner.
13. Jenna came back for a visit in October. We found Perry at Disneyland.
14. Went to the Rise of the Jack-o-Lanterns which had some seriously awesome pumpkin art.
15. Learned to drive a boom lift for:
16. Small World Holiday Exterior.
17. Moved into my very own 1 bedroom apartment! Thanks Mom and Dad!
18. They also brought my cat Strider who lives with me now. We're so happy to be back together!
19. Went to the TSO concert. Duh.
20. Went to see The Nutcracker in Long Beach.
21. Bought a bunch of decorations for my new place including a full sized Christmas Tree.
22. Went to the Newport Beach Parade of Lights with Sheila.
23. Rode a mechanical bull shark in Newport Beach.
24. Elisa and I got our rain gear on for another day of work at #wocrehab.
25. Working in the nasty muck under the tables at #wocrehab.

So there you have it! A lot has been happening and most of it has been really great! I loved spending time with friends old and new and exploring new places and finding fun things to do here. It's been a whirlwind adventure moving to California and working for Disney. I can't wait to see what surprises 2015 has in store!

Cheers!
Holly

Happy Harry Potter Day! Let's Talk About Vampires!

Today is Harry Potter Day. Everyone is celebrating, including me. I've just started re-reading the series for the umpteenth time and I couldn't be happier visiting all my old friends. That being said, since I am writing on Harry Potter Day, you probably think I'm going to talk about Harry Potter. Well, you would be wrong.

I want to go back in time to October 5, 2005 when a little book, you've probably never heard of was published. It's called Twilight, and who am I kidding, I know you've heard of it because for better or worse it completely changed how we look at a specific genre. Don't worry, I'm not here to talk about Twilight either.

I'll admit, I was a die hard Twi-hard back in the day. I didn't over-analyze everything about the books. I just got caught up in reading the story, regardless of its flaws. As Twilight grew, very smart people who did over-analyze the book started reporting on the huge problems with the morals of the plot and characters. I had no choice but to rearrange my opinions of the books. Today, I am no longer a Twi-hard and while I understand ethically why they are terrible books for children to read, I still enjoy them. They are still sitting on my shelf, and every once in a while, I pick them up again.

Like I said, this isn't about Twilight, this is about what happened because of Twilight. After Twilight there came a giant increase in books about paranormal romance. I know the genre existed pre-Twilight, but I'm almost certain it was only post-Twilight that it had it's own section in Barnes and Noble.

This is not a dinky sized section either.

So once the Twilight phenomena happened I would say readers of the genre were split down the middle. Half the people were like "Twilight has no substance, therefore this genre has no substance and is not worth my time." The other half were like "OMG! SEXY VAMPIRE BOOKS! MUST READ ALL THE THINGS!" I fell into the first group. I was wary of delving into books of the same genre and being disappointed at reading "another Twilight" where the leading lady has no spine or free will and stalking your girlfriend is considered adorable.

Christmas break 2011(Maybe 2010?): I went to my friend Kelsy's house and was borrowing some books to take back to college with me. She handed me several including one called Vampire Academy. I looked at it, then looked at Kelsy with an arched eyebrow. "I don't know. After Twilight, I'm just not so sure." "Trust me," was all she said. So I took it. Kelsy is very wise.

I read a few other books before I got around to reading Vampire Academy. After the first book, I immediately ran to the library for the rest of them. I read all 2688 pages in a week. It's safe to say that not much homework was accomplished during this time.

I fell in love with this series and its author, Richelle Mead. I started to tell all my reading friends about it and encouraging everyone I knew to read it. As far as I know, no one has listened. This is surprising to me. I'll be honest, I haven't been so in love with a series since Harry Potter. (Okay, maybe The Hunger Games, but since then, nothing!) Richelle Mead is a fantastic writer and she knows how to draw you in and leave you begging for more...usually with an UNBEARABLE cliffhangers. Nothing has ever been, nor will ever be like Harry Potter, but there are incredible books out there that are, dare I say it, just as wonderful as Harry Potter! BLASPHEMY, I know...

Vampire Academy has a devoted following, but it is small. It is one of my deepest wishes for this fandom to grow and thrive and become a household name, just like Harry Potter. I love it that much. I know there isn't an entire new world created to blow our minds, but there is a lot to love. We've got a kick-ass heroine, a hunky love interest, plenty of drama and intrigue, an ongoing battle between good and evil, the universal struggle of right versus wrong, and everything in between.

While there are many things about Richelle's books that I love, the best thing has to be her characters. Whether they are vampire, Alchemist, or dhampir they are all so wonderfully human. By that I mean, they have strengths and flaws that make them real. Every single character has a unique personality. They are not carbon copies of other fictional characters. They fit into no stereotypical mold. I love each of them individually and unconditionally for who they are. 

One thing I have learned about Richelle Mead is that she gets better with every book she writes. In my humble opinion she is like J.K. Rowling in that way. (Except Casual Vacancy, which I absolutely hated.) The first time I read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, I thought it was good, but not exceptional. I fell in love with the series on the next book. When I read Vampire Academy, it was a similar experience. I liked it, but it wasn't till Shadow Kiss that I fell in love. J.K. Rowling gave us a few bonus books for Harry Potter fans. Richelle Mead gave us an entire new spin-off series! For the win!

The Bloodlines series lives in the same world with many of the same characters, but told from a different viewpoint. Rose and Sydney are very different narrators and you get to experience the world of Vampire Academy through new eyes in this series. It's wonderful! Silver Shadows just came out two days ago and it went above and beyond all my expectations! There is one more book in the Bloodlines series called The Ruby Circle which comes out in February 2015.

Richelle Mead loves this world and these characters and it shows in her writing, as well as the fact that she can't seem to stop writing about them! This is great news for fans. There is nothing confirmed on this, but I wouldn't be surprised if there was another spin-off series following Bloodlines. Richelle has never denied that it could happen when the subject was brought up. That would be so AWESOME!

As with any book these days, you almost undoubtedly, have to talk about it in comparison with its movie. Vampire Academy is no different. When I first heard that there was going to be a movie, I was overjoyed. When I saw the first trailer, I was underjoyed. You know what they say:

Or in this case, the movie's poor advertising campaign. The movie itself wasn't that bad. Yes there were things I would have done differently, but overall I actually liked it. The problem was that it didn't appeal to a new audience. This is a problem if we ever want to see a Frostbite movie. There is talk that it could happen, but Vampire Academy didn't do too hot so it's up to the fans to rally for the next installment. Who knows what will happen? I hope they continue the series and the films get better and better. I mean, look at the first Twilight movie versus the last. Huge difference!

A similar problem is happening with the graphic novels. The third novel came out at the end of last year, but depending on sales, we may not get to see the rest of the series in graphic novel form. That would be a shame because they are absolutely STUNNING! I love them and I hope they continue to make them because I want a full set!

   

Every reader has a special book(s) that they love dearly and want the whole world to love with them. These are mine. While I adore Harry Potter and love coming back to that world and those characters, I feel exactly the same way about Vampire Academy. If you love to read and enjoy a great book with complex characters, lots of witty quips, daring action, a plot full of twists and turns, and a love that never dies then I highly recommend checking out the world of Vampire Academy. I promise you, you won't regret it.

P.S. This is me meeting Richelle Mead and getting all my books signed! It was a pretty amazing night! :)

P.P.S. I'm sorry this post is so long, but I'm really passionate about these books and I just want you all to give them a shot, because I think you might love them too!

Have you read VA? What did you think? Are you going to check them out now that you know about them? What is your book(s) that you want the whole world to know about? Leave answers in the comments!